Serve them

You see aunts and uncles get married when you're little and suddenly that spouse is part of the family. When my aunt got married, it was pretty normal. My uncle has always been my uncle, not some outsider. Now I and my siblings have reached marriage age. Do I offer the same welcome to my brother-in-law as I do to my uncle? To be quite frank - I don't. It's a lot easier to accept people when you're four, I think, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
Before I get into it, though, it's important to remember that when someone gets married they "leave [their] father and [their] mother and shall cleave unto [their spouse], and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). This is one of the first things pointed out in the Bible. While family is important, spouses need to be aware that they are no longer dependent on their parents - they are dependant on each other. In Helping and Healing our Families, it is said that "couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side."
Accepting newcomers is hard. High schoolers see this when their parents take a job in a new city, far away from where they had been living previously. Newly baptized members sometimes see this when joining the Church. God has extended us a commandment to love our neighbor. I often times think of my neighbor as being the person who lives across 7th from me, but if you think of how small this world is when compared to the vastness of the universe, everyone is my neighbor. Even my new in-laws.
So how do we accept people and love them? I asked my mission president the same thing when I first got to Council Bluffs, Iowa. President Weston's response was that if I serve those in my area, not only will they open up to me, but I will come to love and care about them. Certainly there are other ways to develop love for those around us, but I have found that President Weston isn't wrong.
My wife grew up in rural eastern Oregon. When they needed to grocery shop or do anything more than get gas, they came to my hometown in eastern Washington, about 45 minutes away. This was what happened when her father was admitted to the hospital. Her and her family were unable to get to this city in Washington that I won't name until the evening. I and a close friend of mine had the opportunity to drive over to the hospital and give him a blessing. I think this small act of service was a changing moment in my relationship with him.
Start small and be patient. Ways to serve will present themselves. Be appreciative when your in-laws find ways to serve you. All of this will go a long way toward strengthening new family bonds.
PS - Shout out to my friend for being worthy and willing to go up to the hospital with me. I'm thankful that I know people who I can call on at a moment's notice to help me when I need it.

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